Amritsar - second time in 2015

Amritsar! Again!! My second visit of the year, HRH The Queen of Kutch’s third. We are on a roll. Chennai, Amritsar and Kolkata are our favourite cities in India. This year we will be visiting all three. Yes, it’s been a good year.

This time, we were sort of tour guides for Amritsar. Le Grande Fromage in the MNC nutrition and healthcare space with whom we had dined at the Bombay Canteen, was so enthused with our rapturous account of Amritsar that they proposed that we go together. So that was it, a two night three day visit to Amritsar.

This time it was hot. The sun was bright and scorching. To add to that, we were in Amritsar on a weekend, so it was extremely crowded. This was a bit of a dampener, but it did not deter us at all.

Before I plunge into a description of what we ate, I have an observation to make on our eating habits.

As you know, the incidence of diabetes is the highest in India. We have the world’s largest number of diabetics. The Southern Indian states, especially what was Andhra and Tamil Nadu are the diabetes capitals in India. There is a very simple reason for this – diet. Rice – Carbohydrates. The people eat massive quantities of rice. Rice is present in everything and is eaten at all meals, breakfast lunch and dinner. While in the South rice eating is massive, we in the West eat massive quantities of carbohydrates every day. May not be only rice but bread, potato, semolina [Rava] Poha [Rice] and so on. Eating two carbs and even three carbs together is common, especially among the vegetarians. The deadly Vada Pao, Pao Bhaji and McAloo Tikki are two carbs eaten together. Combining a sandwich, French fries and a pizza over a meal and some pasta at night for dinner is not just acceptable but often done without thinking twice. A breakfast consisting of a toast, an Idly and a helping of Upma is not unusual, especially when confronted with a buffet. I shudder when I see this.

However, when in Amritsar, I realised that it is not the same. There is no carb bingeing. What does a man eat? Choley Bhature, Choley Kulcha, Roti Paneer, Roti Kaali Daal, and, what caught me by surprise was Roti with Nutrie Kheema [Protein granules]. What is each one of these combinations? A carb in the form of a bread, and a protein in the form of the Channa [Garbanzo Beans] or Daal or the Nutrie Kheema [Protein granules]. This is a reasonably balanced meal. Why do we not do this in our own meals? I wonder.

Our first meal in Amritsar was at Kanha which I have written about earlier. Excellent. The same taste the same quality and the same shockingly cheap prices. You get 2 large Poori with unlimited sweet sour potato vegetable and Choley all for just Rs 65/-  Brilliant food.

Dinner was at Makhan Fish, which we had visited earlier too. As I said, Amritsar was crowded and so was the restaurant. Packed to the rafters. After a wait of some 15 minutes we got a table. Staggeringly good food. The Fried fish, Tandoori Chicken, Chicken Malai Kebab and a very good Butter Chicken. Top class food. Really really good. This place is a must visit.

The Langar the next day was pretty crowded. Lots of people, but the brutal efficiency of the place is something to behold. From door opening, to serving, to eating to finish, not more than 20 minutes. This time in addition to the Rice Kheer and Daal we had Panjabi Kadhi with Pakodas. Lip smacking. I say lip smacking in the true sense of the word. There was no added taste or aura of divinity to the food. It was simply well cooked simple food robustly flavoured aggressively seasoned and served at searing temperatures. What more can one want. I had two helping of the Daal and three of the Kadhi. I like Panjabi Kadhi.

A huge, I mean huge vat of Punjabi Kadhi waiting to be served at the Langar

We then went to two places we had not been to before. Beera Chicken was the first. This is substantially downmarket when compared to Makhan Fish. They have a shorter menu concentrating on various grilled & tandoori and fried food with just a couple of gravy dishes. No Daal no Chinese food. There is no Tandoori chicken here. It is called `Roast Chicken’. Like at all places in Amritsar, it is not red, no food colour is used. I thought that at Beera they Spatchcock the chicken and then grill it on coals and do not put it in a Tandoor. If you look at the photo you will realise what I am saying. The chicken is flat. The Roast Chicken was better than the Tandoori Chicken at Makhan. We also ordered the Chicken Champ – Champ rhymes with the Hindi word Saamp or snake. This turned out to be a sort of Chicken Cutlet with minced chicken, Very tasty but not what I was expecting. The Seekh Kebab, which is what our waiter recommended, was ordinary.  The Tandoori Fish was excellent, better than at Makhan. I quite liked the Shahi Paneer. It was quite unlike the white gravy dish you get in Mumbai restaurants. Very tasty. Between Makhan and Beera, I would say stick with Makhan. It’s more upmarket and has a wider range of food.

Chicken Champ

Fish Tikka

1/2 Chicken Roast

Seekh Kebab

Shahi Paneer

Amritsari Kulcha with the obligatory cube of Butter

The last meal was vegetarian at Brothers Dhaba. The most legendary vegetarian restaurant in Amritsar is Kesar Da Dhaba. However, we felt that standards were slipping here. This was confirmed by our driver and  the staff at the Hotel who said that quality was slipping and Kesar was relying on past glory. So Brothers Dhaba it was. And, what a good decision. Sarson Ka Saag and Makkai Ki Roti, Sarson [Mustard Greens] was in season so we had to have this classic combination. It was the best Sarson Ka Saag we have ever eaten. Great Punjab on Linking Road Bandra in Bombay serves a good Sarson Ka Saag, but this was a class apart. Also ordered was the Black Daal or Daal Makhni. Silky, smoky and beyond belief good. This was good food by any standards. HRH The Queen of Kutch and Mrs Le Grande Fromage ordered Choley and Baby Kulcha. Unfortunately my greed got the better of me so there is no photograph. The Choley was hum drum. You get far better Choley at Kanha. The Kulchas were wonderful. The Amritsari Kulchas are made in a Tandoor and then dabbed with butter. They are not shallow fried.

The Daal Makhni

Delicious Makkai Ki Roti

Sarson Ka Saag

On a slightly different point. Amritsar is famous for its Lassi, what with the fantastic quality of milk and the water, for which Amritsar is so renowned. On every visit have a glass of Lassi at Ahuja Sweets where we also buy Ghee to bring back to Bombay. Now Lassi is not something I get ecstatic about. After all it is just yogurt water and sugar blended together. Another famous lassiwalla in Amritsar is Munim Di Hatti. When at Brothers Dhaba we ordered a Lassi. I must say the one at Ahuja Sweets was better. Somehow the Brothers Dhaba Lassi seems grainy, or should I say, chalky. Anyway, no matter.

The other new thing we did on this visit was a drive through the famous fields of Punjab. Just a few kilo meters outside Amritsar found us in the middle of miles and miles of fields. Most of them were paddy fields right now and our driver informed us that in the next month or so, after the rice was harvested, they would sow potatoes and after that wheat. Crop rotation. Remember that from your school books? The drive was an eye opener. For one, the sheer size of the fields and second the reminder that Punjab is a rather rich state. This is not the fields of poor farmers who toil to make ends meet. One field had a huge combine harvester, most homes of the farmers had a car and a tractor parked in the compound. This is rich arable land with a good water table and a huge investment in machinery and irrigation. It was a fun, eye opening drive.

All in all Amritsar remains a delight. Great food, a great Temple and friendly people. Just don’t go in summer and don’t go on a weekend.

Irish House

We have a new entrant into the Bandra drinking scene. The Irish House.

Bandra, is a revolving door for restaurants and bars. High rents, intense competition, greedy owners, greedier open mouthed officials wanting bribes, flawed business plans, tiny unviable locations, all contribute to this. The evergreen Toto’s, going strong since 1992 finally has some competition, serious competition.

Barely 50 meters away from Toto’s at Pali Naka, in the place where Basilico used to be, has opened The Irish House. This is a chain of pubs, also serving food, that are owned by the Kapoor family, the guys who own Copper Chimney, Blue Sea Banquets and so on. Hard boiled seasoned restaurateurs. I also heard, though I may be wrong, Kishore Biyani has provided funding for this chain of pubs. So, the bottom line is, deep pockets and tremendous experience.

Irish House has several outlets. Pune, Kolkata have them. Mumbai has some 6 outlets, 4 in malls and two standalone – Kala Ghoda and Pali Naka Bandra. We were looking forward to its opening, which it finally did on 6^th September. Our first visit was on the 7^th, and after that, in the following 3 weeks we have been there some 5 times. Obviously we like it.

The place is divided into two sections, the small air-conditioned bar section with the DJ console and a substantially larger covered al fresco section. What is there to like? Well for starters they have Happy Hours from 5 pm to 8 pm every day. You get one for one free. Yes sir one for one free, across the board on all alcohol, no restrictions. I understand that is the policy at all Irish Houses. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. We walk in at our usual 7.15 pm, HRH The Queen of Kutch orders a Talker and gets two drinks. All for Rs 700/-. I order my usual Kingfisher Draft and I get 2 glasses for Rs 213/-. Then at about 7.50 pm we order a round more. Once again we get two drinks each. This is a great deal. We get to drink double the quantity at half the cost. We love it.

Talisker. 1 for 1 free 

The place being brand new has good equipment, good quality coolers, efficient draft beer dispensers, an under counter glass washer, good air conditioning and a nice sound system with retro Rock playing – no Bollywood. The staff is all young and friendly. There is a 10% service charge, gratuity as the Yanks would say, so no Jhanjhat of tipping.  

We have not eaten very much there, just the bog standard bought out McCain Potato Wedges on occasion. A couple of times when we met some friends there Nachos and Tacos were ordered. A large portion of this is bought out, so one cannot really gauge is the kitchen can cook. What we ate was absolutely fine. But, as far as we are concerned, this is a bar, not a restaurant, so we would not be eating there. There is a huge selection of alcohol ranging from both imported draft, Indian draft including the new craft beers, to imported beer in bottles, all manner of Spirits and a good selection of Whiskeys.

What are the glitches? First, without a doubt, the music is much too loud. I understand if at 10 pm with the place heaving and a happy drunk crowd, the DJ turns up the volume. But alas, here the music is on loud even at 7.15 pm. This is mildly upsetting as conversation becomes a little difficult.

The other problem is the crowd. Often you find underage binge drinkers – remember the drinking age in Mumbai is 25 – causing a ruckus with their boisterous celebrations. The other problem is that unlike Toto’s or Mumbai Clubs, this is not a place frequented by regulars. Let me explain. If the family, or group has to go out one a week, or month then they will come to The Irish House. So there is a transient crowd all drinking exotic drinks. All types of lurid coloured cocktails – blue with Curacao. Green with Kiwi and red with cranberry are being served. Jagermiester Bombs, Tequila Shots, Vodka being chased with Red Bull, Sangria with horrid bits of chopped Apple and so on. You get the picture? Lots of ladies having their one drink of the week, alcohol heavily disguised with colour and sugar. If you are in a bar and you see coloured drinks and shots going out you know it’s a party place, not for regulars. Nothing wrong with that. However the atmosphere in a party place is different to a place with regulars. Regulars give a place a sense of calm which is why we are regulars at Totos and the hallowed Bombay Gymkhana bar.

Having said all this, we are extremely pleased with The Irish House opening in the neighbourhood. Please do visit it. Make it your regular watering hole. We need more happy, clean and modern pubs in our neck of the wood. Who knows we may even have a drink together. I will buy the first round.

Bureaucrats Revenge

First, apologies for the silence.

Second, a disclosure. I voted for the BJP in the last general election. My candidate was Poonam Mahajan. The Congress candidate was Priya Dutt. I also voted BJP in the hope that with the BJP securing the most candidates, Modi would become our Prime minister. I was thoroughly disillusioned by the Congress, and, except for the inaction, I believe, Priya Dutt was an embodiment of all that the Congress had been blamed of – corruption, nepotism, underhand deals, crony’s getting huge advantages etc etc. Today I am disappointed with the lack of performance by the BJP. Agreed, there is no denying that Modi, like Obama is a mesmerising orator, full of vision, but, alas, not much has changed on the ground. By the same token, there is a greater degree of so called orthodoxy, right wing religious sentiment today than ever before. This post is not about this rise in fundamentalism/orthodoxy etc.

Third, a theory. This is not a defence of the BJP [absolutists please note] but, my attempt, at an explanation to a lot of what has gone wrong so far.

My theory, in two words is, `Bureaucrats Revenge.’ The Congress had pointed out some months ago what they termed as U Turns by the BJP. They were partly correct, yes that are U turns, but I believe in many cases it is simply `Bureaucrats Revenge’ that has caused this.

Let me give you but a few examples.

Last week the Government published the draft National Encryption Policy. Suggestions were invited. In probably less than a week, responding, or being badly stung by the reaction, the Government has withdrawn the Policy. The Policy was absolutely ridiculous. I honestly believe the Government was a victim of `Bureaucrats Revenge’. Let me tell you why I think so. The Information & Technology Minister must have been receiving, as is the norm, representation from persons asking for some sort of regulation of/on the Internet and messaging services. This representation would have been serious and required to be addressed. Naturally, being the Minister, he must have believed that this is serious and asked his secretariat, ministry to prepare a policy. The Ministry being full of Bureaucrats must have in their usual pompous, arrogant and high handed manner prepared this Policy and had it published. The Minister had to have relied on his Bureaucrats to prepare this policy. The Policy turned out to be hideous and should never have been made in its present form. The problem is that some guidelines or instructions by the Minister were trampled on by the overzealous Bureaucrats. The Government has had to withdraw this policy with their tails between their legs.

Staying with the same Ministry, you will no doubt recall the banning of some 800 odd websites. These were supposed to be paedophilic porn sites. There were howls of protest. It turned out that many of the sites were far from porn. Once again the Government withdrew the ban. I am sure that the Minister did not check the 800 sites. Jokes apart it is simply not his job. He relied on his Bureaucrats. And what did they do? Go overboard. `Bureaucrats Revenge’. Government with tail between legs.

OROP. Remember that? I must confess it was fun seeing the fairly pickled General Saabs and Admiral Saabs frothing every night on TV asking, or rather, thundering, if this was how the country treated them? Frankly, I believe that Modi would have had no problem granting the OROP in its full extent. However, I believe that he too would have asked his Bureaucrats to give him answers. Frankly, if I was a Bureaucrat I would raise all sorts of objections to ensure that OROP is not given. Why would I want the army to get a share of the pie and deprive me? You see what I mean? `Bureaucrats Revenge’. OROP granted with conditions. Howls of protest. OROP granted, in full [almost]. `Bureaucrats Revenge’.

`Bureaucrats Revenge’ does not exist only in the BJPs time. I am sure you recall the body blow that Pranab Mukherjee inflicted on us. He introduced a slew of retrospective taxation measures when he was the Finance Minister. This sent a chill down everybody’s spine. The huge tax burden that befell Vodafone was just one of the examples. Once again, I am sure that there would have been representations made to the Finance Minister that taxes have to be levied, collected, imposed [choose your verb]. The Finance Minister would have told the Bureaucrats to get this organised. What did you get - `Bureaucrats Revenge’ – overzealous, fawning, self-righteous Bureaucrats going overboard and drafting a draconian law?

Once again staying with the same ministry, Finance, but with a new Minister Arun Jetley, you had the Bureaucrats suddenly passing orders claiming MAT from foreigners, and that too retrospectively. I can certainly imagine representations being made as to how entities are escaping tax. Matter passed by Minister to Bureaucrat. What do you get? `Bureaucrats Revenge’.

Remember the brilliant new Income Tax Return form that was suddenly brought in. You had to give all manner of information on your foreign travels. Once again howls of protest. Once again a withdrawal by the Ministry and tail between legs. Can you not picture the representation and the typically high handed impractical response by the Babus? I can.

Let’s turn to the case of Nestle and Maggi. No, not the ban. I am talking about the 640 crore claim for damages filed by the Government. By the way 640 crores is USD 100 million at that rate of exchange. Today it would be about 670 crores. This brilliant move was by the Food and Consumer Affairs Ministry. Ram Vilas Paswan is the Minister. `Bureaucrats Revenge’, I believe so. Paswan must have received representation to penalise Nestle. I am sure he passed them on. And what was the result? Mind you, according to me the fact that this is `Bureaucrats Revenge’ is borne out by the Food Processing Minister being rather disturbed by this move. According to me, the theories that there is often a difference in opinions between two ministries are simply on account of `Bureaucrats Revenge’.

The last example I have to tell you is the recent tail between legs that our Chief Minister Devendra Fa(t)dnavis did. Remember the ban on slaughter of goats and poultry in Mumbai for the Jain festival?. This was for 4 days. Who passed the order? It was the Municipal Commissioner – a Bureaucrat. Obviously, at the behest of the Minister who received several representation from MLA, MPs etc.

I could go on, the mess that is the much amended Companies Act 2013, the backwards and forwards on Corporate Audit/accounting standards, the overwhelming disclosures and compliances by SEBI, but, the point is the same so there is no need to bore you.

Okay, I agree that it is the Minister in charge who is also responsible for this having to eat humble pie or making U Turns. But, having said so, I honestly believe that the Ministers are falling into the clutches of the overzealous, oleaginous fawning all powerful bureaucracy. I think this is sad as we need Ministers who are erudite and wise and are capable of actually understanding the repercussions of a proposal by the bureaucrats and when necessary having the gumption to reign them in.

I do not know if you agree with my theory. It is unfortunate that this `Bureaucrats Revenge’ is adding fuel to the fire that seems to be rising every day, the fire of disappointment at the performance of the BJP.