Irish House

We have a new entrant into the Bandra drinking scene. The Irish House.

Bandra, is a revolving door for restaurants and bars. High rents, intense competition, greedy owners, greedier open mouthed officials wanting bribes, flawed business plans, tiny unviable locations, all contribute to this. The evergreen Toto’s, going strong since 1992 finally has some competition, serious competition.

Barely 50 meters away from Toto’s at Pali Naka, in the place where Basilico used to be, has opened The Irish House. This is a chain of pubs, also serving food, that are owned by the Kapoor family, the guys who own Copper Chimney, Blue Sea Banquets and so on. Hard boiled seasoned restaurateurs. I also heard, though I may be wrong, Kishore Biyani has provided funding for this chain of pubs. So, the bottom line is, deep pockets and tremendous experience.

Irish House has several outlets. Pune, Kolkata have them. Mumbai has some 6 outlets, 4 in malls and two standalone – Kala Ghoda and Pali Naka Bandra. We were looking forward to its opening, which it finally did on 6^th September. Our first visit was on the 7^th, and after that, in the following 3 weeks we have been there some 5 times. Obviously we like it.

The place is divided into two sections, the small air-conditioned bar section with the DJ console and a substantially larger covered al fresco section. What is there to like? Well for starters they have Happy Hours from 5 pm to 8 pm every day. You get one for one free. Yes sir one for one free, across the board on all alcohol, no restrictions. I understand that is the policy at all Irish Houses. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. We walk in at our usual 7.15 pm, HRH The Queen of Kutch orders a Talker and gets two drinks. All for Rs 700/-. I order my usual Kingfisher Draft and I get 2 glasses for Rs 213/-. Then at about 7.50 pm we order a round more. Once again we get two drinks each. This is a great deal. We get to drink double the quantity at half the cost. We love it.

Talisker. 1 for 1 free 

The place being brand new has good equipment, good quality coolers, efficient draft beer dispensers, an under counter glass washer, good air conditioning and a nice sound system with retro Rock playing – no Bollywood. The staff is all young and friendly. There is a 10% service charge, gratuity as the Yanks would say, so no Jhanjhat of tipping.  

We have not eaten very much there, just the bog standard bought out McCain Potato Wedges on occasion. A couple of times when we met some friends there Nachos and Tacos were ordered. A large portion of this is bought out, so one cannot really gauge is the kitchen can cook. What we ate was absolutely fine. But, as far as we are concerned, this is a bar, not a restaurant, so we would not be eating there. There is a huge selection of alcohol ranging from both imported draft, Indian draft including the new craft beers, to imported beer in bottles, all manner of Spirits and a good selection of Whiskeys.

What are the glitches? First, without a doubt, the music is much too loud. I understand if at 10 pm with the place heaving and a happy drunk crowd, the DJ turns up the volume. But alas, here the music is on loud even at 7.15 pm. This is mildly upsetting as conversation becomes a little difficult.

The other problem is the crowd. Often you find underage binge drinkers – remember the drinking age in Mumbai is 25 – causing a ruckus with their boisterous celebrations. The other problem is that unlike Toto’s or Mumbai Clubs, this is not a place frequented by regulars. Let me explain. If the family, or group has to go out one a week, or month then they will come to The Irish House. So there is a transient crowd all drinking exotic drinks. All types of lurid coloured cocktails – blue with Curacao. Green with Kiwi and red with cranberry are being served. Jagermiester Bombs, Tequila Shots, Vodka being chased with Red Bull, Sangria with horrid bits of chopped Apple and so on. You get the picture? Lots of ladies having their one drink of the week, alcohol heavily disguised with colour and sugar. If you are in a bar and you see coloured drinks and shots going out you know it’s a party place, not for regulars. Nothing wrong with that. However the atmosphere in a party place is different to a place with regulars. Regulars give a place a sense of calm which is why we are regulars at Totos and the hallowed Bombay Gymkhana bar.

Having said all this, we are extremely pleased with The Irish House opening in the neighbourhood. Please do visit it. Make it your regular watering hole. We need more happy, clean and modern pubs in our neck of the wood. Who knows we may even have a drink together. I will buy the first round.

Bureaucrats Revenge

First, apologies for the silence.

Second, a disclosure. I voted for the BJP in the last general election. My candidate was Poonam Mahajan. The Congress candidate was Priya Dutt. I also voted BJP in the hope that with the BJP securing the most candidates, Modi would become our Prime minister. I was thoroughly disillusioned by the Congress, and, except for the inaction, I believe, Priya Dutt was an embodiment of all that the Congress had been blamed of – corruption, nepotism, underhand deals, crony’s getting huge advantages etc etc. Today I am disappointed with the lack of performance by the BJP. Agreed, there is no denying that Modi, like Obama is a mesmerising orator, full of vision, but, alas, not much has changed on the ground. By the same token, there is a greater degree of so called orthodoxy, right wing religious sentiment today than ever before. This post is not about this rise in fundamentalism/orthodoxy etc.

Third, a theory. This is not a defence of the BJP [absolutists please note] but, my attempt, at an explanation to a lot of what has gone wrong so far.

My theory, in two words is, `Bureaucrats Revenge.’ The Congress had pointed out some months ago what they termed as U Turns by the BJP. They were partly correct, yes that are U turns, but I believe in many cases it is simply `Bureaucrats Revenge’ that has caused this.

Let me give you but a few examples.

Last week the Government published the draft National Encryption Policy. Suggestions were invited. In probably less than a week, responding, or being badly stung by the reaction, the Government has withdrawn the Policy. The Policy was absolutely ridiculous. I honestly believe the Government was a victim of `Bureaucrats Revenge’. Let me tell you why I think so. The Information & Technology Minister must have been receiving, as is the norm, representation from persons asking for some sort of regulation of/on the Internet and messaging services. This representation would have been serious and required to be addressed. Naturally, being the Minister, he must have believed that this is serious and asked his secretariat, ministry to prepare a policy. The Ministry being full of Bureaucrats must have in their usual pompous, arrogant and high handed manner prepared this Policy and had it published. The Minister had to have relied on his Bureaucrats to prepare this policy. The Policy turned out to be hideous and should never have been made in its present form. The problem is that some guidelines or instructions by the Minister were trampled on by the overzealous Bureaucrats. The Government has had to withdraw this policy with their tails between their legs.

Staying with the same Ministry, you will no doubt recall the banning of some 800 odd websites. These were supposed to be paedophilic porn sites. There were howls of protest. It turned out that many of the sites were far from porn. Once again the Government withdrew the ban. I am sure that the Minister did not check the 800 sites. Jokes apart it is simply not his job. He relied on his Bureaucrats. And what did they do? Go overboard. `Bureaucrats Revenge’. Government with tail between legs.

OROP. Remember that? I must confess it was fun seeing the fairly pickled General Saabs and Admiral Saabs frothing every night on TV asking, or rather, thundering, if this was how the country treated them? Frankly, I believe that Modi would have had no problem granting the OROP in its full extent. However, I believe that he too would have asked his Bureaucrats to give him answers. Frankly, if I was a Bureaucrat I would raise all sorts of objections to ensure that OROP is not given. Why would I want the army to get a share of the pie and deprive me? You see what I mean? `Bureaucrats Revenge’. OROP granted with conditions. Howls of protest. OROP granted, in full [almost]. `Bureaucrats Revenge’.

`Bureaucrats Revenge’ does not exist only in the BJPs time. I am sure you recall the body blow that Pranab Mukherjee inflicted on us. He introduced a slew of retrospective taxation measures when he was the Finance Minister. This sent a chill down everybody’s spine. The huge tax burden that befell Vodafone was just one of the examples. Once again, I am sure that there would have been representations made to the Finance Minister that taxes have to be levied, collected, imposed [choose your verb]. The Finance Minister would have told the Bureaucrats to get this organised. What did you get - `Bureaucrats Revenge’ – overzealous, fawning, self-righteous Bureaucrats going overboard and drafting a draconian law?

Once again staying with the same ministry, Finance, but with a new Minister Arun Jetley, you had the Bureaucrats suddenly passing orders claiming MAT from foreigners, and that too retrospectively. I can certainly imagine representations being made as to how entities are escaping tax. Matter passed by Minister to Bureaucrat. What do you get? `Bureaucrats Revenge’.

Remember the brilliant new Income Tax Return form that was suddenly brought in. You had to give all manner of information on your foreign travels. Once again howls of protest. Once again a withdrawal by the Ministry and tail between legs. Can you not picture the representation and the typically high handed impractical response by the Babus? I can.

Let’s turn to the case of Nestle and Maggi. No, not the ban. I am talking about the 640 crore claim for damages filed by the Government. By the way 640 crores is USD 100 million at that rate of exchange. Today it would be about 670 crores. This brilliant move was by the Food and Consumer Affairs Ministry. Ram Vilas Paswan is the Minister. `Bureaucrats Revenge’, I believe so. Paswan must have received representation to penalise Nestle. I am sure he passed them on. And what was the result? Mind you, according to me the fact that this is `Bureaucrats Revenge’ is borne out by the Food Processing Minister being rather disturbed by this move. According to me, the theories that there is often a difference in opinions between two ministries are simply on account of `Bureaucrats Revenge’.

The last example I have to tell you is the recent tail between legs that our Chief Minister Devendra Fa(t)dnavis did. Remember the ban on slaughter of goats and poultry in Mumbai for the Jain festival?. This was for 4 days. Who passed the order? It was the Municipal Commissioner – a Bureaucrat. Obviously, at the behest of the Minister who received several representation from MLA, MPs etc.

I could go on, the mess that is the much amended Companies Act 2013, the backwards and forwards on Corporate Audit/accounting standards, the overwhelming disclosures and compliances by SEBI, but, the point is the same so there is no need to bore you.

Okay, I agree that it is the Minister in charge who is also responsible for this having to eat humble pie or making U Turns. But, having said so, I honestly believe that the Ministers are falling into the clutches of the overzealous, oleaginous fawning all powerful bureaucracy. I think this is sad as we need Ministers who are erudite and wise and are capable of actually understanding the repercussions of a proposal by the bureaucrats and when necessary having the gumption to reign them in.

I do not know if you agree with my theory. It is unfortunate that this `Bureaucrats Revenge’ is adding fuel to the fire that seems to be rising every day, the fire of disappointment at the performance of the BJP.

Finality of judgements - Tilak & Memon

3^rd August 1987 was my first day at the hallowed Crawford Bayley & Co. I was, as the cliché goes, young, bright and bushy tailed. It was either Armin, Yadunath or Shrikant who took me to see the Bombay High Court. I cannot now remember who it was, but I am certain it was one of these three. As was obligatory, I was taken to see the Central Court Room, which was quite grand. Grand in not the true sense of the word, but in a relative sense. Imagine Buckingham Palace or the Louvre or the Sistine Chapel being maintained by the Indian PWD, which is what the Central Court room looked like.

Circa 1909 the great freedom fighter Lokmanya Tilak was tried in that Court. Tilak was being prosecuted by the British for demanding Swaraj or self-rule. Defending Tilak was an up-and-coming lawyer M A Jinnah. Alas the jury, by a majority of 7:2, returned a verdict of guilty and Tilak was sentenced to six years. On being asked by the Judge whether he had anything to say, Tilak uttered the words now carved into the marble plaque just outside the Court.

“In spite of the verdict of the Jury, I maintain that I am innocent. There are higher powers that rule the destiny of men and nations and it may be the will of providence that the cause which I represent may prosper more by my suffering than my remaining free.”

I remember being terribly impressed by these words. These were no doubt stirring. But, as I have written, I was bright eyed and bushy tailed. Today I am far wiser, far more cynical and probably very disillusioned by what India has become. Today, I look at that statement wonder. Despite being pronounced guilty, in what I believe is an openly inflamatory statement, Tilak says that he is innocent.

The principle I am trying to state is that despite being pronounced guilty by a competent Court in a proper and fair trial, that too by a jury, the accused refused to accept that he was guilty.

Fast forward 106 years and see what is playing out today.

Paraphrasing massively, and dealing only with the legal challenges by Yakub Memon, it is interesting to understand this. First Memon was pronounced guilty by the TADA Court [the Trial Court] and sentenced to be hung. This verdict was appealed and the appeal was dismissed by the Supreme Court, meaning that the verdict of the Trial Court was confirmed. This was followed by two review petitions in the Supreme Court, one curative petition also in the Supreme Court, another writ petition thereafter, and then another night-long hearing in the Supreme Court. Add to this the various mercey petitions. This makes a total of eight hearings, which is unprecedented. Despite this, our Television Channels, many of the print, various politicians, the Jholawallas and the Mango people refused to believe that Memon’s verdict was legal and proper.

As is the case, various arguments were conveniently mixed up and jumbled to produce a powerful concoction that ended up completely obfuscating the judgement, the role of our Courts and the fact that justice was done, repeatedly, in Memon’s case.

First up was the were the people against the death penalty. They pop up every time someone is going to be hung. The remainder of the time they are silent. India does have the death penalty on the statute books, hence agitating that it should not be applied in a given case as the death penalty is wrong, completely confuses the people. The role of Shashi Tharoor in this has to be condemned. For every wonderful debate in Oxford he manages to take several steps back by making outrageous statements.

Then there was the utterly mysterious theory propounded by the online `Middia’ based on an article written by Mr. B Raman. Raman claimed that Memon was promised immunity from execution if he helped the Indian intelligence. Problem is that this immunity was never recorded and now Raman was dead.

Then we had the utterances of Asaduddin Owaisi who mixed up Raman's position and added his own two bits worth. The sum total of Owaisi’s words are (i) breach of promise of the immunity from execution and (ii) the `real perpetrators’ Tiger Memon were scot free while Yakub was being hung.

Out of the blue the great Salman Bhai burst into this controversy by in essence tweeting the `real perpetrators’ argument. Of course, Salim Bhai had to jump in and control Salman Bhai.

The next argument that Yakub should not hang was the age old one. He was a Muslim and was thus a victim. This was a potent argument having regard to the fact that, in all honesty, our country is really at crossroads with Hindu Muslim tensions increasing day by day.

And, oh yes, before I forget, Yakub was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Hence some of the arguments were that he was unfit to be tried, therefore the sentence of hanging could never have been passed. 

Our television `Middia’, as is their wont, had panel discussions with advocates of each of these arguments thrown onto one panel and being asked to spout. Debates were vicious, often illogical and always completely mixed up.

All this publicity left a deeply divided populace. Threats, fears and assumptions of riots and violence were all around. Mahim where the Memon family lives became a fortress. Thankfully, nothing happened.

My point is despite the unprecedented eight rounds of trial/appeal, Memon's death sentence was upheld consistently. Our people are simply unable to accept the finality of a Court decision. Why is this? This is extremely troubling. I wonder where we are heading to.

On the other hand I wonder if this is simply a continuation of what started 106 years ago with Tilak’s statement.