Toto’s at Pali Naka
Bandra is the bar we visit most often. Why? Because familiarity breeds content.
Sorry.
For those who may not
know, Toto’s has been in existence since 1992 and along with Ghetto is probably
the longest running bar outside a 5 star hotel in Mumbai. It has not changed.
The music is generally the same [retro Western Rock – never absolutely never
any Bollywood]. The crowd is older, local – either working or living in the
area – the booze is cheap by Mumbai bar standards, the alcohol is never cut and
the food is good. Girls are safe and the staff is generally unchanged.
Ladies were always
welcome and single women can be seen on most nights, the usual Mumbai working
girls probably living in PG digs or a small flat nearby, enjoying the music,
reading a book and having a quiet drink. No one hassled them and they felt
safe.
Now, in an abrupt
change in the entry policy, single women are not permitted to enter unless they
are known faces. On hearing this from Laju Bhatia the owner [yes he is the guy
who is always in shades] both HRH The Queen of Kutch and myself were shocked.
The reason for this dramatic shift is frankly mind boggling. It makes me wonder
why Indians as a nation are granted any privileges [such as the privilege of a
lady enjoying a quiet drink alone] when every privilege is abused, twisted, jugaaded and otherwise fucked up in ways
you cannot imagine.
This is a fascinating
story. Do read on.
No. It is not a story
of the girl being a prostitute or a drug dealer. As I said, read on.
The girl in question
came in alone and sat at the counter. She had two mobile phones with her. She
had two Jack Daniels to drink. Bhatia presumes she had a drink or three
elsewhere before coming to Toto’s. The reason for the presumption will become apparent.
Girl then went to the toilet and returned to her spot and said that her mobile
phone was missing; she accused the waiters of having stolen it. Once the fracas
started, the Manager intervened and asked the people around her if they had the
phone. Obvious answer – no.
So the girl picks up
her other phone and makes several attempts to call the police. All the while
she is yelling that (i) India is a fucked up country or words to that effect
(ii) Indians are thieves (iii) Mumbai is a city of thieves and so on and so
forth. All thru this she is attempting unsuccessfully to call the police.
After a few minutes
of this continuing, the Manager steps in and he calls the police who promptly
turn up. Stories are told, accusations are made, blame is sought to be
apportioned, and finally, the cops say fine, please come to the police station
to register an FIR.
At this point the
girl says – this is India I will be molested at the police station I am not
moving unless there are lady police. So lady police are summoned. None
available. More drama. Finally the Manager, the lady and the cops went to the
Khar Police Station and a FIR was filed. It was 3 am by the time this got over.
Now comes the
clincher.
The next day in the
cold harsh light of morning, Bhatia and staff ran the CCTV tapes. By this time the
girl started telephoning Toto’s and saying that she was calling her lost mobile
and she was getting a ringing tone. So could the staff check in the ladies
toilet. The CCTV footage show that the girl had put a mobile phone into the hip
pocket of her jeans and gone to the toilet. Finally, the cleaner found that the
phone was lodged inside the water in the toilet bowl. The girls claim that she
was getting a ringing tone was obviously a fib as if the instrument was
submerged there was no way it would have been working. Anyway, the phone
instrument was retrieved, the police called again and the phone handed over to
them. Folks, please no toilet humour! Yes the same thoughts crossed my mind as
are crossing yours!!
Girl now tells the
cops that since the phone is now retrieved and with them, they should return it
to her. Our worthy cops now have the upper hand and tell girl that since she
insisted that an FIR be lodged, which was done, girl would have to make an
application to the Court to have the stolen property returned.
You may ask what does
this have to do with single girls and the entry policy. Very simple. If a
single girl gets pissed and has to be evicted how does one do this when your
staff is all male? You could have a huge problem. Single boys can be evicted,
simply throw them out, a mixed group can be evicted, multiple girls can be
evicted (because presumably some of the group would see sense), but how do you
evict a single irate and presumably drunk girl without laying a hand on her?
Hence.
QED or Quod Erat Demonstrandum.
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