Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The story of a `Bai', a relation and the MCA.

HRH the Queen of Kutch is a member of the hallowed MCA Bandra. This is a new club whose name is Mumbai Cricket Association Recreation Centre and it is located at the Bandra Kurla Complex. In all honesty, this is a very good club. The facilities are excellent. The pool where I swim is far better than the much more hallowed Bombay Gymkhana. The Gymnasium beats the socks out of most gyms. The food is above average, and being a new construction everything is modern and nice. It is a good club.

The problem is the members. Many of them are strange to say the least.

Have a look at this Notice. This is put up on the notice board of the club.

A few quick quotes on the subject:

“God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends.” 

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.”

“I sustain myself with the love of family.” 

Now you may well as what is the fuss about? Why is the club issuing such strange notices? A bit of background is needed to make bring this out.

Most clubs permit entry for `ayahs’ or maids. The maids are permitted entry to supervise toddlers, infants and young kids in need of supervision. Consequently, while entry is permitted, total access is not permitted. So a maid can only accompany the child to certain areas in a club – the children’s playground for instance. Maids cannot enter the dining rooms, pools, gymnasium, and library and so on. Because of this, a maid is not charged an entry fee.

On the other hand a guest is charged an entry fee and can, with his host, go to all parts of the club.

Got it? Nice and logical.

Now, into this neat set of rules bring in our genius members interpretations. These genius members have a lot of money [actually you don’t need a lot of money] and no sense. So what they do is sign in the maid as a guest. Signing in a guest is a mere Rs. 100 or maximum Rs. 200/- so money is inconsequential. Then once the `guest maid’ is signed in she can accompany them everywhere like the dining room. So on one large table will sit Papa Smurf, Mama Smurf, Baba Smurf, Baby Smurf, Aji Smurf, Ajoba Smurf and `Bai’!!!

Yes folks, at the MCA dining room `Bai’ will sit at the same dining table as `Saab’. Not at home, no never, kabhi nahi, but at the MCA it’s okay. Then, since `guest maid’ is actually a `Bai’, signed in as guest, she cannot be given any food. Now that would really be too much to expect. So `guest maid’ `Bai’sits at the table while Papa Smurf guzzles beer, and others chomp down on Pizza. The neighbouring table sees all this and questions how the `guest maid’ `Bai’can be sitting at the table since she is actually a `Bai’ who is not allowed in. So our genius members say, she is not a `Bai’ but our relation and is signed in as a guest!!

Got it? Nice and logical? Fully in keeping with the rules? All guest entry paid, so bringing in `Bai’ is not a problem. And `Bai’ is not `Bai’, she is Fui.

I am staggered by the brilliance of these geniuses.

Like I wrote in the previous post, I have only questions no answers.

1 comment:

  1. We (Indians) are the Best at this game, You make a rule we will find ways to circumvent it. We may sometimes follow the letter but the spirit is only what we imbibe at the bar.